"...it is extremely important to focus on the things we want rather than to focus on the
that we fear. This type of philosophy is the cornerstone to getting what you
want in the dating
scene. The belief system of a loser is distorted by fear of what might
go wrong...fear looks at
the past (and all the failures and rejections of the past) while
desire and success look to the future.
Winners look ahead...losers look back.
Winners also remind themselves that
a) No one gets unanimous approval and
b) No one succeeds all of the time!
In fact winners have a much higher failure rate than losers because
winners are constantly trying
to improve! Winners think 'next time' while losers
whine 'if only'. Winners focus on 'this will';
losers worry about 'what if'
... and fail to take necessary risks.
William James once wrote about the importance of attitudes.
It is not what happens that counts,
rather how you, personally, take it that
Here is a comparison of a winner's attitude versus a loser's outlook about being rejected for a
A Winner Thinks 'I was turned down. That means I was doing. Next time
I'll be closer to what I want.'
A Loser 'Reasons' 'I shouldn't have tried',
'I'm not good looking enough', 'I don't have enough money.'
dwelling on what he lacks, a winner makes the most of what he has!
So what are you? A winner or a loser? Do you really want to succeed at
the game of dating?
Remember, what is programmed in your belief system, how you view yourself
and what your
attitudes are will determine your final score in this game of love."
- Abner Cook, Member Emeritus - Video Introductions
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