When we experience the end of a marriage or the loss of a deep emotional involvement,
it is not uncommon to experience severe pain which may feel as though it will never subside.
However, the nature of our reaction to this pain will determine how readily and successfully
we are capable of living and loving again.
Grief over a loss is natural and healthy. We must acknowledge and feel the pain before the
emotional wound will properly heal. Turning to family, friends or a helping professional is often
a helpful means of adjusting to the loss and speeding up the recovery period. The nature of life's
cycle is to experience losses and gains. As we react to loss in an appropriate manner, we grow,
mature, become stronger and better able to cope with adversity. We heal more easily and develop
new tools for dealing with life's crises.
In all of life's experiences we move through stages. Expanding awareness and greater self
understanding and acceptance come about as we unblock and open ourselves to new experiences,
feelings and ideas. We move through a process of accepting change, learning to let go of what
doesn't work for us and we look for alternatives that might.
Letting go of old familiar (but outmoded or unproductive) patterns and reaching out for new support
systems and networks of people, activities and interests is necessary. Clearing up unfinished business allows
us to free creative energy for new pursuits. In doing so we can create richer, more
resources and become fuller individuals with more to give to others. We can
learn to enjoy solitude, be alone without being lonely, strengthen our identity
and have more energy to give to new relationships.
A high level of self esteem comes about as we recognize ourselves as valuable persons. Throwing out old,
unattractive and stifling emotional baggage allows us to enhance personality assets and become more creative,
interesting and self actualized individuals. This high level of self esteem can act as a magnet in attracting
others and establishing new friendships and relationships.
If you choose to have a counselor help guide you through any stage of your development as a single, you will
receive direction, support and feedback designed to provide, insight, self discovery and personal enrichment as a single.
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