"We're Taking the Guesswork Out of Dating" SM

Enabling Singles Ethically Since 1977

Please fill out the two part questionnaire below.

Partner Compatibility Questionnaire 
For Singles
A Relationship Assessment Tool
(Part 1) 1992-2004
 Norman Mickey
Prepared by Norman Mickey B.A. and Michael Mayer Ph.D.

This questionnaire is designed to give you a chance to reflect on yourself and your attitudes, values, and priorities concerning relationships. It is also intended to help you recognize unrealistic or inappropriate partner choices and detect potential problem areas. We want you to think about some dating and relationship issues encountered in your attempts to initiate relationships and also help you think through some deeper issues which may emerge later in a relationship. We hope that it will provide a beginning dialogue between you and other persons in your life and serve to promote mutual understandings and successful relationships. Please keep in mind that there's always a personal element in the equation of compatibility that even the best questionnaire can't adequately identify. Please make an entry for every answer to each question. Any answer that you feel uncomfortable with or don't understand you may leave blank. However, blank answers can lessen the validity of your test results. Moreover, for your questionnaire to be accepted, only a limited number of blank answers are permitted. Therefore, please try to complete every answer to each question if possible. These questions were constructed by a Social Worker and singles expert, and by a Licensed Psychologist and Marriage Counselor.

1. When I am attracted to someone I tend to:
A. Openly tell them
B. Be afraid to let them know
C. Send subtle signals of attraction
D. Drop hints in a conversation
E. Try to do something to impress them
F. Wait for them to make the first move
G. Have someone act as a go-between

2. On a date, do you feel more comfortable:
A. Talking about yourself
B. Asking questions about the other person
C. Discussing impersonal subjects

3. My desire for marriage is:
A. Absolute
B. Very important but not absolute
C. Open for negotiation
D. Changeable depending on the relationship
E. Other 

4. If I was tempted to have an extra-marital affair I'd:
A. Discuss it with my partner first
B. Dicuss it afterward
C. Hide it
D. Assess my partner's ability to handle it
E. See what's wrong between us and work on it
F. Other 

5. My last relationship ended due to:
A. Lack of shared interests
B. Sexual differences
C. Money problems
D. A difference in values
E. Boredom
F. Misunderstandings
G. Unequal/Unfair standards
H. Other 

6. If someone asked me out who I didn't
want to go out with, I would:
A. Say no but thank them for asking
B. Explain exactly why I said no
C. Say no but use a "white lie" to explain why
D. Say yes but find a way to avoid or cancel the date
E. Let them know they're not up to my standards

7. If someone turned me down for a date I'd:
A. Act as though it didn't bother me
B. Assume I wasn't up to their standards
C. Let them know they're not so great
D. Not ask anyone else out for a while
E. Ask out someone else
F. Try to find out why

8. If I learned that a person I romantically cared about was
also seeing someone else, I'd probably:
A. Request an explanation
B. Stop seeing him or her
C. Try harder to please him or her
D. Accept it as their right to see someone else
E. Find a way to sabotage that relationship
F. Avoid the subject to prevent an altercation
G. Demand that they stop seeing that person
H. Confront the person they are seeing
I. Start seeing someone else too

9. If you have a disagreement with a person
you are dating, do you:
A. Wait for the other person to make up
B. Apologize even if it isn't your fault
C. Refuse to see or talk to the person for awhile
D. Try to discuss things immediately afterward
E. Avoid the issue causing the problem thereafter

10. What I like to discuss about myself on a date:
A. Accomplishments/abilities
B. Philosophies of life
C. Past relationships
D. Current situation
E. Financial success
F. Future goals
G. Interests
H. Feelings
I. Values

11. I show my partner that I love them by:
A. Telling them
B. Touching, hugging, kissing
C. Sexual intimacy
D. Buying them things
E. Helping them
F. Other 

12. If I was asked to dance by an attractive
stranger while I was on a date, I'd:
A. Accept and expect my date to understand
B. Ask my date's permission
C. Tell the person that we are together
D. Want my date to tell the person we're together
E. Tell the person this is an unwelcome intrusion
F. Want my date to tell them it's an intrusion

13. If I never again wanted to date someone, I'd:
A. Tell them I need some time away from them
B. Invent an excuse or story which they'd believe
C. Tell them why I didn't want to see them
D. Avoid seeing them or responding to their calls

14. If I have extra money left on payday I like to:
A. Save it or invest it
B. Buy a present for someone I care about
C. Make an extra payment on a bill
D. Go out and have a good time
E. Help someone in need
F. Buy something I want

15. In marriage I'd probably want sex:
A. Once or twice a month
B. Less than monthly
C. Two or three times a week
D. About once a week
E. Spontaneously
F. Daily

16. If your partner asked you to do something
you consider inappropriate, would you:
A. Refuse and demand an explanation
B. Do it to please your partner
C. Try it to determine if you might like it
D. Discuss your reservations
E. Do it in return for something you want

17. If you've made your partner aware of the
seriousness of a recurring relationship problem
and it does not improve, do you:
A. Continue to try to discuss it with your partner
B. Make an effort to get out of the relationship
C. Seek personal or couple counseling
D. Modify your expectations, attitude, or behavior
E. Ask your partner to make changes
F. Stick it out and hope things will change

18. If a past love treated me badly,
but now wanted me back, I'd:
A. Give them another chance
B. Refuse to see them
C. See them and get even
D. Assess the likelihood of any real change
E. Consider who or what else I might risk losing

19. Who I am:
A. Selective
B. Moral
C. Thrifty
D. Shy
E. Fair
F. Religious
G. Passive
H. Sensual
I. Optimist
J. Carefree
K. Honest
L. Reliable
M. Jealous
N. Fun loving
O. Patient
P. Enjoy children
Q. Courageous
R. Attractive
S. Compromising
T. Status conscious
U. Hard worker
V. Perfectionist
W. Non-conformist
X. Communicative
Y. Emotional
Z. Spontaneous

20. What I believe:
A. People should usually display their thoughts and feelings openly
B. Personal freedom is more important than a lot of rules and regulations
C. Achieving an important goal justifies the means of achieving it.
D. Traditional ways of doing things are best.
E. A partner should have similar religious beliefs
F. Admitting a problem is a sign of weakness
G. It's OK to void a commitment if a better opportunity arises
H. I'm concerned about people's opinion of me
I. Drinking is alright in moderation
J. I'd do almost anything for the person I love
K. People can readily change if they want to
L. Sparing someone's feelings is better than the painful truth
M. The excitement of a mysterious partner is preferable to the dull predictability of a known one
N. It is better to hurt oneself than someone else
O. My date's looks are unimportant if they are a nice person
P. Playfulness is preferable to refined behavior
Q. It is wrong to depend on help from others
R. My personal and cultural tastes are very elite
S. You can tell a nice person by their manners
T. It's better that a woman not ask out a man
U. I trust someone based on how they treat me
V. One person should be the head of household

21. Things I want in a marital partner:
Rank the following 10 items in the order of their importance from 1 = most important, 2 = next most important, etc. to 10 = least important. Use ALL ten numbers. Do NOT use the same number more than once.
   A. Personality type
   B. Similar Values
   C. Personal Integrity
   D. Mutual Interests
   E. Willingness to communicate
   F. Physical attractiveness
   G. Spiritual compatibility
   H. Sexual compatibility
   I. Financial security
   J. Education

22. Activities I want to share with a partner:

23. My three heroes/heroines:

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Thank you for reviewing Part 1 of the questionnaire.
Part 2 of the Partner Compatibility Questionnaire is made available to you upon becoming a member.

You may become a member by either:
a) joining in person at our office
(includes identity verification symbol posted on your profile and professional video interview at no extra cost)
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c) joining by mail, e-mail and phone

If you have completed Part 1 from this page and you want to join in person (recommended if possible), or by phone or mail instead of completing it as part of our online website joining process, you can print out this page if you have a printer or you can save your answers on a floppy disk, and bring or send your answers to us. Then upon receipt of Part 1 we will make Part 2 available to you to complete and return.
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