The Fifties and Sixties - The beginning of singles awareness
The first singles organization, Parents Without Partners, is founded in 1957 in New York City by two single parents: Jim Egleson, a non-custodial parent, and Jacqueline Bernard, a custodial parent, to provide a social and educational venue for single parents and their children. 25 single parents attended the first meeting in a Greenwich Village church basement.
Relevant remarks from some early relationship mentors who drew attention to issues affecting singles and helped raise singles awareness
"An elaborate loneliness trap has been woven by those who suggest that modern men and women should be totally self sufficient and independent. Interpersonal freedom is the melody they play... these pipers trap people because they make them feel guilty for even admitting they are lonely; they insinuate that it is a sign of weakness to publicly admit that a person really needs someone else... this is no myth or fairy tale - all available evidence suggests that people do indeed die of broken hearts." -Dr. James J. Lynch "The Broken Heart -The Medical Consequences of Loneliness" 1977
"...a failure of persons to honestly represent who they are... a facade is created, designed to please what you think that other person needs or wants. You lose either way if you do this! If the person responds to the facade, you've got nothing there but a person who likes the false image you've created. That person doesn't like you, so what have you gained? If the person does not respond to the facade and departs from your life... you're always going to wonder if he (or she) would have liked you, had you been genuine." - Norman Mickey "Compatibility and Finding that 'Perfect' Mate" 1st National Singles Convention 1979
The Seventies - More singles enlightenment Video Introductions singles organization is founded in 1977 in Concord, California by Social Worker Norman Mickey to provide singles with video dating and singles counseling and education. The first national singles convention is held in San Francisco in 1979.
Some Comments and Quotes Over the Years
The Early Eighties The first consumer guide to dating services is published by Video Introductions in 1982, alerting singles to deceptive, unfair and high pressure sales tactics and lures of some well known dating services in the industry.
"It's important to take some risks - to disclose something about ourselves when we want to meet somebody... In everyday situations I think some people are going to look a little bit funny at you if you start telling them all your personal information. But isn't it sad, that as much as we say we want openness and honesty in our society, that we look upon someone who is genuinely open and honest with us in a first meeting, as odd..." - Norman Mickey Lafayette Orinda Presbyterian Singles 1982
"Video Introductions of Concord has put out a consumer guide "Things to Look for (in a Singles Dating Service) before you sign up." - KGO Radio News January 1983
"Does a man like a lady if she compliments his personality or do opposites attract each other? We're going to find out in the Video Introductions company in Northern California." - Allen Funt, Candid Camera "The Difference Between Men and Women" NBC TV, November 1983
The Mid Eighties and Early Nineties
The first partner compatibility test for singles is devised by Norman Mickey and Ph.D. Psychologist/Licensed Marriage Counselor, Dr. Michael Mayer. It is published in 1992 providing the basis of a new approach of identifying, assessing and measuring compatibility. Video Introductions acquires 5 other dating services.
"There's a lot of deception, misleading claims in the industry...There's clearly (inappropriate) sales pressure in most of the dating organizations that I'm aware of, and the person is in an emotional state and is susceptible to that pressure. And because some singles feel reluctant to complain because they've been taken (advantage of) about admitting that they're single and perhaps lonely, they don't often complain to the right agencies. There's a lot of rip-offs in the industry and it needs to be corrected. We're trying to do something about that at Video Introductions..." - Norman Mickey Ronn Owens Program, KGO Radio June 1985
"The lack of being loved or having someone to love is probably the most emotionally damaging thing that one suffers, and I think it is most intensified in older people." - Norman Mickey - San Jose Mercury News February 1990
"Dating services aren't regulated in most states. If you're thinking about joining one ask the following questions and don't surrender your money until you get answers." "Rules for Video Love" - condensed from 'Things to Look For in a Singles Dating Service' by Norman Mickey, Director, Video Introductions" -Betsy Von Wagner, Men's Fitness Magazine July 1990
The Nineties Video Introductions expands internationally with members in the Philippines and in Russian countries. Video Introductions web site is developed. Exclusive partner compatibility assessment software is developed. Norman Mickey submits an original, innovative concept and proposal to President Clinton's task force on welfare reform, to help single welfare recipients get off public assistance through marital assistance services. American Association for Single People is founded in 1999 by attorney Tom Coleman to give single people the same rights as married persons.
"King of Hearts" "Social Worker Norman Mickey has seen the ugly effects poor marriages can have on parents and children, so he's trying to stop the marriages before they happen. 'I wanted to do something more socially redeeming...I turned to social work because that's where I felt I was doing the most work for people...Many people marry for all the wrong reasons... We shed some light on that and help them make better decisions the next time around' ...His contribution to marital bliss is Video Introductions, a comprehensive dating service that helps singles avoid the frogs and get straight to the princes." - Dave Thom Daily Ledger/Post Dispatch October 1992
"Forget nuclear disarmament and Yakov Smirnoff. The end of the cold war brought about something much more momentous, according to the Russian Connection brochure... the availability of numerous desirable Russian women with an amazing attraction to American men. The Concord based dating service, part of Video Introductions, provide men (and women) with opportunities to meet (Russian women and men)." - Andrew Gordon Concord Transcript February 1997
"Norman Mickey, owner of Video Introductions in Concord, started his service after years with the Contra Costa County welfare office. His experience there gave him the moral motivation for founding the business. 'I saw the results of all the bad marriages and hardship on children that came about because they didn't have a lot of guidance in making their decision about the right person for them initially' he said - he also offers a conditional membership for those of lesser means. Payment is made only upon marriage." - David Scholz Argus Newspapers February 1999
The New Millennium - Will we face up to the devastating effects of unmet relationship needs?
"Domestic violence is the No. 1 health risk for women between the ages of 15 and 44 Clinton said. Almost one third of the women killed in the United States are victims of husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends." - President Bill Clinton October 2000
Almost a very real casualty of an emotionally demeaning marriage ending in divorce, a very wonderful, caring and giving young man attempts suicide, not knowing where else to turn. He subsequently joins Video Introductions and develops hope and a different relationship approach through use of Video Introductions program, including active participation in the free singles support group led by Norman Mickey. As a result, his self esteem and dating and relationship skills are enhanced. He realizes the rewards of his venture on Valentine's day with a new outlook on life and a level headed, attractive bride met through Video Introductions. - A Marriage That Almost Wasn't February 14, 2000
"I was scared to death of failing at male-female relationships" - Edmund Kemper Northern California females serial killer, - an interview shown on Court TV
The New Millennium and Beyond... The Bush administration seeks Congressional funding for marital assistance services for single welfare recipients. A candidate for California Governor runs on a singles platform in 2003. Full-length, good quality video interviews become available on Video Introductions website.
"Mickey says his company's greatest asset is that it allows customers to 'look before you buy'. Potential customers can look through the company's photo albums as well as a few videos before they decide whether or not to join... Mickey throws in a 'reality check' as part of his service: 'We make people realize that not everyone is a 9 or a 10 and not everyone can have a 9 or 10'. Formerly a social worker...he emphasizes personal growth... 'We have a whole industry about marriage counseling...I coined the term 'singles counseling'." - Alina Larson The Montclarion October 2000
"Norm Mickey, a former social worker, is scrupulously honest in facilitating introductions and operates his business with the highest of integrity. If you are serious about finding a partner, consider Video Introductions." - Open Exchange Jan./Feb. 2001
"Norman Mickey of Video Introductions in Concord says people feel ashamed to ask for dating help, even though finding a mate may be the most important thing we do in life. 'America is all about independence' he says. 'We think we should be self-sufficient in every way. If we admit any deficiency in accomplishing anything, it makes us feel less self-esteem, less valued by our peers.'...let's face it, some people will do almost anything to avoid rejection, even if it means spending their lives alone." - James O'Brien Diablo Magazine February 2002
"A relationship balance is looking at who you are vs. what you want in a partner. So many people fail to realize that what they have to offer is not what they're asking for in return and this is called a discrepancy (relationship disparity), and that's one of the measurements of the partner compatibility test...we try to bring a scientific measurement into the whole process... relationships are so often emotional - one side of the brain dictates so much of our decision - and we fail to consider a rational counterbalance." - Norman Mickey "The Edge -KNEW Radio" September 2003
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Video Introductions 4701-B Clayton Rd.Concord, CA. 94521 Office and Directions phone: (925)676-2399
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